Use a Shotgun and Not Touch It.....

 I love this story about using your shotgun without touching it....it will work great for me because I DO have a wheelchair...read on....

Today I swung my front door open and placed my Remington 870 shotgun on the front porch. I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, I decided to place it in a wheelchair to help it get around.
Then I left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the boy across the street plowed my snow, a girl walked her dog down the street, And quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign in front of my house.

After about 2 hours, I checked on the gun. And it was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I left it. It had not rolled itself outside and It had not killed anyone in spite of the many opportunities.

Well you can imagine how surprised I was with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. So either the media is wrong, and it is the misuse of guns by people or I'm in possession of the laziest Gun in the world.

So now I'm off to check on my spoons, because I hear they make people fat.

Umm, I wonder if I can find one sticking in something sumptuous and gooey...  :)  spoon, that is...

Check out a boutique showing you dozens of collectible tobacciana ashtrays and other items....you will find it at Supergrannys Treasures   

It is open 24/7 and can be shopped and browsed any time....have fun........

 

How Unions Work - Las Vegas Hookers Unions

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

 "No”, she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

 "Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,” she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.

His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

 "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next.'"

NOW YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE: AUTO INDUSTRY, EDUCATION, GOV'T UNIONS, AND THE SENIORITY SYSTEM IN THE HOUSE AND SENATE!


Think about this and have a successful New Year.  Shop Supergrannys Treasures for tobacciana collectibles.

Another Economic Stimulus Payment

I don't know that this is a 'for sure'....but I thought we'd better have a little economics lesson in case it does happen...... Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment, well maybe.....  This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q.. Where will the government get this money? A.. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? A. Only a smidgen of it.. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .... * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China . * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ... * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ... * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1) Spending it at yard sales, or 2) Going to ball games, or 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. ) Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

.....you could, of course, spend some of that stimulus at Supergrannys Treasures

Did You Do Any Black Friday Shopping?

Who went Black Friday shopping this morning? What bargains did you find?

I was as full as a tick on Aunt Leona the day after Thanksgiving...... and Mabel shoulda stayed home....lookit this sight for sore eyes...sure hope nobody tries to pull that thing straight back and it gets away from them, ole Mabel will whizzzz clean across the store
.

Then I saw a picture of this other 65 yr old guy in the paper this morning that left home to go get in line for  LAST years Black Friday Sale..evidently he  indured some prety severe conditions..lookitimnow...poor thing..not much left.

Now thats why it was just as well that I couldn't roll out of my bed this morning.  It's at times like this that everyone needs an XXXXL  shirt or sweaterr to put on when you need to wear your comfortable leggings with the VERY elastiic waist.  Just big long and oh so comfortable....nobody need know you had a weak moment of gluttony.  Take this one as an example....its big and beautiful...CLICK HERE to see this beauty




CLICK HERE to View This Item offered by plusizeglamor



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