Fight the Nemises of the Elderly - Exercise the Brain

I keep being told my forgetfulness is normal as we age.  We need to exercise our brain not by just reading something but really thinking about it.  There are times when I feel like there is a cat 5 tornado flying around in my brain.  I need to master the art of slowing it down and stop the constant flying debris from littering my thought processes.  Pick an item...think about it then put it away.

I don't want to be the elderly person that KNOWS EVERYTHING.  I remember that all too well.  We cared for my husbands mother the last several years of her life.  I do not want to be the mean ole lady that knows everything!  This is what I am fighting to stave off......so I have to exercise my brain to make sure the cobwebs do not build up in there. 

I am going to make a supreme effort to exercise my thought processes.   I'm physically feeling old today so my  first thought is what Cora Harvey Armstrong says,"Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened."   The next thought is 'who is Cora Harvey Armstrong'?  Do you know?  After thinking about it for a spell...I had to look it up.  A very interesting lady.   Look it up....good exercise for the brain.
     

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. ~ Coco Chanel.  Oh, Coco, now you're getting personal....you mean this face that has more lines than a metropolitan road map is MY fault.  I always thought those were character lines.  I must be quite a character.  I really don't like all those little lines around my mouth....looks like I have been sucking lemons!  (Maybe I could believe they were from too many tequila shots?)  Then there's the deep furrow between my eyes...I know that came from the many many years of concentrating too hard.  Oh, those deep laugh lines.  Actually those are tolerable....I've always had a somewhat strange sense of humor.  Laughing is excellent therapy.

Listening to the news can be unsettling....they were just saying somebody had been assassinated....How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?  I don't want to have either....I'm getting naturally old quick enough. I don't want to exercise that subject any more.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?  This has been floating around in my brain ever since my MIL was adamant that she be buried in her very best incl jewelry .....but she was cremated!  I'm just saying, ya think we should pack a bag?  That reminds me of when she was cremated and given to us in a small box.  We then put her in the car to drive her to her final resting place in Spooner, Wisconsin.  Do you put her in the trunk or in the back seat?  It was October and was freezing at night...when we stopped for the night, do we bring her in or leave her in the trunk?  I'm tellin ya, there was a lot of thinkin about that.  Even tho she was meaner than the junk yard dog, I struggled with putting her in the trunk, etc.  We laid her to rest and slept well on the way home.

We were looking at hams at the market the other day and I got to thinking.....what disease did Cured Ham actually have?  I don't know but in the olden days we would cure it with salt that would draw out water and retard the bacteria growth, then hang it high in one of the closed in outbuildings till it was really jerkyfied.   I guess they wouldn't sell very many 'Infected Sick' Hams.

Bette Davis says "Old age ain't no place for sissies."  So let me enjoy life and laugh....dance, sing, wear funny clothes and different color socks and hope that I don't wear my underwear on top of my pants or on my head.

I'm tired of thinking lets all go find the best bargains on the NET...CLICK HERE for Online Auction.  It's going to be a wonderful holiday season.  Enjoy!

There's More Than One Way of Looking at Things!..Senior humor..Weight Loss Tips

There's more than one way to look at things......for example...

Two old guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.. 'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'

A little known fact....The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

Now, here's a thought...New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Why are they looking for a larger group? Weren't they fat enough?!

"You know you're fat when you iron your pants in the driveway." BTW, you gotta "drive" your iron or by the time you're finished...your legs are weak, you're exhausted, and you need a nap!

All is not lost...there is hope...read on...

Weight Loss Tips from Larry Wentz - "Forget Liposuction - Try Lip Obstruction!"

"When eating donuts - only eat the center part." That way, you won't get the nasty sticky sweet scrumptious flavors all over your fingers! No need to lick...

"Eat your food while staring into a mirror.....totally naked!" EEEKK!

"Eat your food with one chopstick!" Can I have some honey?

"Is there really anything "lite" about cellulite?" What do you call this? Senior dress code gone awry?

"I am not overweight. I am chocolate-enriched." That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Larry Wentz

Remember a hearty belly laugh uses somewhere around 40 calories...gives your heart and brain a boost! We seniors need all the help we can muster up!

Summer is here...be careful in the sun and heat...maybe you need a wide brim hat...it gets really warm busying yourself watching the grass grow...

I bought this in Palm Springs a couple of winters ago and wore it very briefly to a Red Hat Society function. Looks like new and is a BARGAIN! "
Wide Brim Red Hat

We have been enjoying the birds that frequent our yard...every yard needs a Bird House and here's one that is collectible and priced very low...
Collectible Coca-Cola Wooden Bird House

All the sellers at OLA have thousands of bargains...
CLICK HERE for Online Auction