I've heard of some of these...and they are still viable things to consider. Take a minute and do a little 'musing' of your own....I'm just saying, this is how this senior citizen sees things now....
1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color. (sad thing is...I used to do that very thing when I had a career and $...)
3. Take life with a pinch of salt.... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila. (Jimmy Buffett..meet you in Margaritaville to look for my lost jigger of salt...WOOHOO!!)
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it. (do they consider 'Depends' big girl panties?)
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality. (nanny nanny boo boo...NO more PMS for me!)
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here. (don't be jealous because the voices only talk to me)
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. (and if I didn't have this short term memory loss...I'd be tempted less often...)
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny. (wear a thong...not enough material there to get in a knot)
11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka. (refer to #3..)
12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit! (still got my good looking, sweet, man....)
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.. (wonder if it took me 40 yrs to get my brains?)
14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble. (Beware of 'retreads')
15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. (did I do that?)
Don't forget to hold your friends close in your heart...spread smiles generously on your 'slice of life' and enjoy every crooked grin you get in return... Go slow, enjoy...this 'slide down the back side of life' is FAST!!
I did have a 'resurrection' of sorts this past week and spent some time listing a bunch of 'treasure' at OLA.com.
CLICK HERE for Supergrannys Treasures
Throw all caution to the wind and take a peek...shopping always gets the 'juices' flowing.........
Showing posts with label musing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musing. Show all posts
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Questions That Will Haunt You...Exercise Your Thought Processes
I've written several blogs concerning the demise of life as a senior and what we can do to improve the situation. (Get real....impossible) You know.....like..try to age gracefully...exercise your brain...
Like Cora Harvey Armstrong says "Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened."
So in an effort to keep the old gray matter firm - here's some questions that you can exercise your thought processes by pondering on them....musing, as you will....
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? (I think the government secretly put a tax on it!)
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Shouldn't it be the other way around!!!
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? (My husband is convinced I have an obsession to make burnt offerings to the bread gods!)
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
If we call people from Poland Poles....why don't we call people from Holland Holes?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What do you think? Come up with any explanations? Keep thinking....like Bette Davis says "Old age ain't no place for sissies." Cr*p, ain't this just the sh*ts?
Tired of musing? Go find the best bargains on the NET...CLICK HERE for Online Auction
Like Cora Harvey Armstrong says "Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened."
So in an effort to keep the old gray matter firm - here's some questions that you can exercise your thought processes by pondering on them....musing, as you will....
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? (I think the government secretly put a tax on it!)
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Shouldn't it be the other way around!!!
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? (My husband is convinced I have an obsession to make burnt offerings to the bread gods!)
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
If we call people from Poland Poles....why don't we call people from Holland Holes?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What do you think? Come up with any explanations? Keep thinking....like Bette Davis says "Old age ain't no place for sissies." Cr*p, ain't this just the sh*ts?
Tired of musing? Go find the best bargains on the NET...CLICK HERE for Online Auction
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