Saturday, May 16, 2009

Questions That Will Haunt You...Exercise Your Thought Processes

I've written several blogs concerning the demise of life as a senior and what we can do to improve the situation. (Get real....impossible) You know.....like..try to age gracefully...exercise your brain...

Like Cora Harvey Armstrong says "Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened."

So in an effort to keep the old gray matter firm - here's some questions that you can exercise your thought processes by pondering on them....musing, as you will....

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? (I think the government secretly put a tax on it!)

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Shouldn't it be the other way around!!!

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? (My husband is convinced I have an obsession to make burnt offerings to the bread gods!)

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

If we call people from Poland Poles....why don't we call people from Holland Holes?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

What do you think? Come up with any explanations? Keep thinking....like Bette Davis says "Old age ain't no place for sissies." Cr*p, ain't this just the sh*ts?

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3 comments:

Fleapirates said...

LOL, Sg... good ones!

Sunflower Ranch said...

Very good SG!! You've exercised my mind, such as it is... LOL

grouchow said...

"Old age ain't no place for sissies"
I love this Bette Davis quote the best! Ya gotta be tough, when getting older, lol :)