Thursday, March 12, 2009

John Stossel Give Me a Break!....Political Correctness....plus a Senior Moment

For an interesting viewpoint, WATCH ABC with John Stossel: "Give Me a Break!"
"This Friday, March 13, "20/20" airs my special, "Bailouts and Bull" 10 p.m. ET."

PC Update............
Speaking of government, politics, bailouts, bull, PC, political correctness. Here is the latest in PC requirements suggestions................

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

3 He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

4. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

5. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'


Enough political type "stuff" - here is a slice of life from my own. I swear this is true!!

Does anybody out there watch American Idol? Photobucket Well, my husband and I were watching Tuesday evening and was really irritated when the judges were so mean to Anoop so we decided to vote (we had never before voted - just watched).

SO at the conclusion of the show I started dialing the phone over and over again. The proverbial "light bulb" went off - we have redial. DUH...........anyway, I got tired of pushing redial so I asked my husband to do it for awhile. He pushed redial and is sitting there listening to the phone. I thought, "wonder what they're saying to him they didn't say to me?" All I ever heard was "Thank you for voting". Photobucket


I finally said, "Bob.......what are you doing?" He says, "they said "thank you for holding" so I am!!!" Photobucket Can you say HEARING AID? We had a good time laughing ..... Photobucket

Such is the life in a senior household.............

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Sunday, March 8, 2009

Psst...........Ladies, Can I Have A Word With you Privately?

I made a serious decision after I returned from my yearly physical....THAT was the last time!!

When I went to the doctor for my yearly physical, the nurse started with the basics.....

How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 4,' I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2'.

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac. What a witch!! Better living through chemistry? I just hate when that happens...............


'Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter... don't mind...And those that mind... don't matter.' sigh...........

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