Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Are You Aging Gracefully?.....Well, I'm NOT

Pay attention....there's something creeping up on you...watch out

Relax...this is no ghost story...it's worse..GROWING OLD!

I've discovered that my mind is still processing even when I'm playing FarmVille, Cafe World on Facebook or working on my little shop at OnlineAuction.com. My husband says my mind is like the hard drive in my computer...it needs de-fragged every so often!

I didn't pay much attention to the state of my body until the last few years...so many things are going wrong...isn't there a warranty on this pile of flesh?

Here's a few of my musings...
Skin flaps...what was our Creator thinking? what is the purpose of these flappy little pieces of skin showing up willy nilly...NO place is sacred to them.

Feet...they're a changin..mine used to be a petite 6...now they're spread out to an 8.

Mirror...peripheral vision offered me a glimpse of my mother the other day. Startled me...but when she spoke...I broke into a cold sweat when I discovered it was me!

Several years ago, I put on shorts at the beginning of the season and my dear sweet husband comes up with "When you gonna press them knees?". Well, that honest observation sent me into peels of laughter...just as well laugh as cry.

This process of becoming a truly Senior Citizen thing is a nasty vicious joke.....it's MEAN ...just plain mean.

I am so sorry I used to complain about having to shave my legs like every other day. and all that armpit hair...let it go and you could have braids in a few days. Crap, now I don't have to shave those places but maybe once every month or six. That's good news and my toes never have to be shorn.

BUT.....NOW, I've got hairs growing out of selected spots on my chin....I have one long begger that is partial to my left ear lobe. Five years ago I would never have thought I would have nose hairs showing or a moustache for crying out loud.

This is a favorite poem by Donna Vickodil...

Growing Old Gracefully

There's a mole on my neck that's growing a hair
When I was younger it wasn't there
A lot of things changed since I've grown older like my fallen arches and this hump on my shoulder
Yesterday I noticed a twitch in one eye and spots on my hand that resemble a fly
I used to be able to party all night but now to stay awake until five is a fight
My breasts used to be firm and quite pert
Now I have to be careful they don't drag in the dirt
Gravity surely has taken its toll
What was once on the surface is now in a hole
The backs of my arms are wobbly like jelly and I found the remote tucked under my belly
I used to eat steak but now I can't chew it
Growing old gracefully. I don't think I can do it !
Copyright: Donna Vickodil

Is there anybody out there that really thinks this is funny? Don't laugh too loud...it's gonna happen to you

The only saving grace is my heart, as long as it beats, I am still a fun and loving aging free spirit when I'm not wrought with worry

As long as my brain functions I'm happy...except those days when I can remember when I was 6 and somebody stepped on my mud pie but today I have to check my drivers license to catch my name....(sigh)

A positive to growing old...you can tell your deepest secrets to your friends... they won't remember them either.

There's so many things I could go on about...the eyes, driving, hormones, sex, gas, memory.....aargh! Time for a nap!  Yes, I'm growing old and there's no dad-gummed way I intend to go without a ruckus!
flower line animated bird

Take a moment and browse all my collections of ashtrays, tobacciana, advertising, vintage items at  Supergrannys Treasures

The place for more Treasure Bargains!!  Remember to buy vintage!


Aesthetics48 said...

You R the Girl!!! :)

Supergranny said...

Thanks, you're just a sweet young thang!

Fleapirates said...

SG, I think you are like my favorite scotch... you just get better with age!

MetzyMom said...

I read and laugh, read and cry, read and laugh some more. It's a cycle I go through with almost every one of your posts. And everytime I go through that cycle, I realize again just how special you really are.

Eileen Williams said...

Oh, Supergranny, you've got my number for sure! Have you been secretly spying on me and monitoring the descent of my body parts? Gravity may keep us grounded on the earth but it sure can do a number on those of us lovely ladies of a certain age. At least, with you around, we can laugh about it. And, as they say, laughter is the best facelift!

Fuzzy Slippers said...

Ugh, I relate all too well. My feet have grown, too, and I started at a size 8! Crepe skin, random hairs, weird moles popping up . . . *sigh*

maggiemaybecrafty said...

Nope, I'm not growing old gracefully at all. Thanks for making me laugh again even if it's all too true.

Supergranny said...

You guys are all great and I thank you for the comments...I've been under my 'rock' for the last few weeks so haven't been around to thank you!

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Sally said...

You are absolutely hilarious! Keep on keeping on.

FYI: I refer to myself in my Boomer-humor book "The Baby Boomers Guide to Menopause...or how to have more fun than 36 hours of labor" ...

as a Poster for the Bronx Zoo- Rhino haunches, Alligator skin, Condor-sized wing flaps, Turkey waddle neck, and Puffer fish water retention.

Thank the lord we are all in this together and can laugh. And yeah, about that parts department and the warranty. I had my power train go out...wasn't that a life time guarantee, where the 'hey' is my paper work?

Sally Franz, author
Check out my newest Best Seller book on hospital stays. "Scrambled Leggs...A Snarly tale of Hospital Hooey" www.ScrambledLeggs.NET

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