sent me this. (Shop at above store for Quality items at BARGAIN prices.)You may have read these as I had. This morning, I was just screaming for a good laugh!!! Hope you enjoy them again..............
Zen Teachings
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you fart.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I feel better now, now I am going to OnlineAuction.com and do a search for QA (short for quarter ante sale) where special auctions start at .25 cents. If you don't have a friend that wants to go out for a shopping spree, join us at OLA.com, socialize, and shop among friends.
See this gorgeous 14KT ring at
Starting at .25 cents!!! http://www.onlineauction.com/store/TheRoyalTreasuresThis is a NEW IN BOX Fisher Price Lil Movers School Bus starting at .25 cents
http://tinyurl.com/aq25j4 What a neat couple of mini Coke items starting bid $.25 . I already put a bid on these.
Search for Mini coke http://tinyurl.com/b4bkemBargains galore and there is WAY more................Go ahead, meet a friend and shop!!!
1 comment:
ROFLOL!
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