Old Geezer or Sexy Senior Citizen? Need Some Advice...

I discovered Chris Berry while doing some research (sounds better than sitting in front of the computer waisting (yes I mean waisting because that's where my lunch is going) time.
He was writing as Ole Geezer and this letter comes from a woman named Carlotta Flatzemill from Opalookalika, Florida who writes:


Wilbur bless his heart is rather rotund. In fact you could say that Wilbur’s physique resembles an orange on top of two toothpicks, (about the same color too). Wilbur also has a problem with excessively long hair growing from his ears and nostrils. He’s become so hard to look at Mr. Geezer that it’s just about killed off all the romance in our relationship.

One other thing, yesterday when me and Wilbur went shopping he tripped and fell and liked to never quit rolling. If he’d have been a bowling ball lord knows he would have got a strike. What kind of advice can you give me about the lack of romance, Wilbur’s appearance, and how I can minimize the damage when we go out in public?'

I am wondering what kind of advice I would give this refined lady...any advice?

and this little story is also from Chris Berry ...
He says, 'I sat there admiring my beautiful wife I couldn’t help thinking how cute she was even with all those wrinkles on her. Don’t get me wrong, wrinkles can be good things, (like laugh lines for example), and it seems that the longer I’m with my wife and the more wrinkled she gets the more I love her. I’m hoping that I still feel that way when she starts looking like a shar-pei. If she gets so old and wrinkled that I can’t bring myself to kiss her I’ll just pet her on the head and give her a scooby snack.

Anyway, one of the other things about getting old is that even though I haven’t lost my libido she seems to have. She thinks libido means leeb it o ver there. When I was younger she thought I was a handsome stud. Now she thinks I’m a randy old goat. She once told me that what with her arthritis and bad back she’s afraid of getting stuck in the position. She used to talk dirty to me. She still does but now she says stuff like “Get off me you old bastard”.

But she knows that I love her. And she knows that all that stuff I’ve been talking about, well I was just kidding.

Right honey? You know I’m just kidding right?'

Guess I've laughed and 'waisted' enough time so think I'll change chairs!

Go shopping, that's what I'll do..have you browsed Online Auction? I'll bet you will find the perfect gift for that special someone...how about a Comic Cow Figurine from Germany for your favorite heifer (now don't get miffed...heifer means a young cow that has not had a calf:)offered by Morerivethead


or for the person that seems to always max out their credit cards...here's the perfect gift from DollarDealsnMore
Who wouldn't love to have THAT?

Anyways, there's lots to discover. BTW, my treasures can be found at Supergrannys Treasures There's gotta be some collectors out there of advertising, ashtray collectibles plus much more.

Remember to BUY VINTAGE....once they're gone..they're gone!